To Grow...

 When we stop growing we start to die, to grow we eat. Feed your "heart" with the Good Word, and be grateful for the growing pain!🙏

Help Me Remember!

 On the days that seem like I'm not running this race wall, I look and remember that I wouldn't be running at all if it were not for the One who gave me today to run! So my King, I thank you for today, though others dash past me on their race, I thank thee that I am in this race with you! Help me to remember that without You I wouldn't be running at all!!🙏

You ask again?

 How can I be so sure?? Sure of what?? Sure of the sweetest I've ever had!! 

I have seen 👀 and watched all my life the ebb and flow of relationships, I have watched and seen that there may seem to be  no way of computation with live breathing humans, no guarantee of faithful love. So why do some give faithful love all their lives together and others do not??

The secret lies in a mystery greater than themselves, a mystery but yet a reality, a mystery to us but a fact to Heaven! Some call it faith, some call it trust, others would call it weakness! What is it??

Why am I so sure? And what am I so sure of? What makes her so different, or is it her at all?

This I am sure of- a rare diamond unlike any other mined out of the Earth, cut and polished by her Maker!! Anything I could have hoped for and yet so much more I did not know that I needed!!

I remember the first conversation, I remember the first meeting, I was wrong about both, any preconceptions I had were wrong for she was that much better!! ❤️

"That much better" was no comfort to me for if I thought I didn't stand a chance before, now how could I have any hope? I was left with nothing of my own I could turn to, nothing to give me a plan, nothing to give me a strategy. My only hope, my only prayer, was my prayer to God!

I was left dazed and stunned, why had she come into my world, why had our paths crossed? Nothing was going according to my plan, nothing at all. 

As quickly as she had come- she vanished! That is the day I begin to realize how precious she was to me!

I resolved that not a day would go by without a prayer for her, that her life would be prospered, that her joy would be full, that our Father's tender care would cover her. And not a day went by that I did not fulfill my pledge. Some say it is easy to pray when things are going well but what about when things are not? What about when someone has left your life with a hole the size of the Marianas Trench??? 

I had known that I would not survive even a casual hiccup in the road, and this was no casual hiccup! Emotional life and death hung in the balances- tilting on a knife's edge!

I knew I was already a dead man if I tried to survive this on my own, even though I know my God had helped me through all the other life hiccups, I didn't see how He could get me through because I brought nothing to the table...

...I brought nothing, I was helpless, and in many ways the hole 🕳 left in my heart was the least of my worries even though it compounded every other worry and even though it grew larger with each passing day. 

I crayed out to Him and I cried, for days all I did was cling to Him!! A week later I woke, my tears gone, my heart calm and one of the most important decisions of my life lay before me...

As if God was speaking to me... "You are free to go, you are free to move on, your heart is at rest, and I will not blame you if you do!" I thought about it for a while that Monday but taking everything I knew and had seen about her... I knelt down and asked my King if I could stay, maybe six months, maybe a year but let me stay and hope against hope for a miracle, for what I had seen was only a once in a lifetime gift 🎁. So I stayed, and that is when I realized something... 

She had taken part of my heart and forgot to give it back! so with God's blessings I went to find the missing piece of my heart... 

There it was, I could see it! She was holding it in her hands, as we sat down across from each other, the missing piece of my heart still beating! As we parted ways that evening I still saw her holding the pice of my beating heart. She was unable to give it back and I unwilling to take it back. Did she even know she was holding it?? I'm not sure. As I drove away I realized that she now held even more of it than before! I learned a very important lesson... when someone holds your heart, it's not because they necessarily want to but it's because you have given part of your heart to them. It's almost a cruel thing but a beautiful thing too!!

So, by heavens help it must be two holding each other's heart 💞  mutually for thriving love to grow!!! Even though I felt I held so little of her's I was determined by God's grace to hold the little sliver I thought I might have as a sacred trust! 

And that my dear friend is where my confidence lies, it only takes a sliver, one tiny sliver and God's blessing!

And you ask again why I am so confident of this? I am confident that God's will, will be done!! As I continue to ask day and night pleading for God's grace I know that he will not fail and he will not disappoint and his answer will be perfect, perfect for me and perfect for the most amazing woman I have ever met! Yes I am 100% confident that God's will, will be done!

And yet again you ask why am I so confident? I know that she is taking everything to her King and will do nothing without His approval and blessing!!!🙏❤️ This gives me great confidence because I can be open and honest, with the woman who holds part of my heart in her hands, and not fear to sway her heart only based on my input and opinion!

But you still ask how can I be so confident?? I have seen miracles, I have seen miracles stacked on top of miracles!!! This banishes fear of failure, because I can not make it happen, but my King is and can make it perfect!!

I know that 4 decades ago God designed me for this time and I know that He knew almost 3 decades ago and designed her for a special purpose!! I know we were made for each other regardless of if it's for life or only for a while!! 

There is no other like her ❤️ ,the only one of her Mother!!

This is why I dare to be so confident, my confidence is in Heaven, for that is where true and lasting love comes from!!!🙏❤️

I am confident of 👸, because I am confident in our King!!!!❤️❤️❤️

A Time for Everything!

 Lord, let me run with you! When I can not run, let me walk with you! When I can no longer walk, give me strength to crawl, no matter how slow, beside you! When I can no longer crawl, give me the trust to lay my life in your arm's, for it is then that I will fly with you!!!🙏🙏💝🎉

No ?

 When all standing, I had, was taken away, when no place left where to pursue. 

When even hope seemed to tremble, no path forward I saw. It was then that I continued to bow, a place wide enough for my knees, though trembling, to kneel.

I pled for You to bless them, and if there was a blessing left for me I humbly asked for it. Not because of hurt nor out of spite but only for Your mercy, and for Your love I did come, bowing before Your throne both day and night.

Then, in the middle of pleading for them, You only made my desire stronger! what was I to do??? Now I pled for myself too! 

Pleading with the Righteous Judge of all the Earth to stand up and let His will be done, in placing hand in hand whom he deemed best!

Night and day I plead for His will, night and day my heart strings grew fonder! What was I to do? But keep pleading to my King!

Then the time came where for another man I could not plead, I asked a blessing on him but I could not pray his hand to prosper in taking yours!

Still no visible standing I had, simply the ledge where my knees trembling pled to my King!

I asked His blessing to prosper my way, yet I knew not how, for how would He take one's heart and transfer it away from another?? It seemed so cruel to me, yet I had to ask, and His will alone I prayed to be done! 

Whatever the future held, one thing I knew, I could not safely venture down a road where I was only second best, so I asked my King, I pled with my King, I cried to my King to do whatever work was necessary in His great perfect plan!

 I do not claim to see the future nor know what His plan is but one thing I can say, all my prayers He answered very clear, and no question mark is now left in my mind should His good pleasure be to place your hand in mine!